About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.
And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Nathan says 4.5 stars...
This is the parody I've been waiting for. Like mountain lion blood from Edward's lips, acerbic wit drips from every page. Nothing is safe in this hilarious and campy farce. Poor Belle Goose takes the most ridiculous aspects of unremarkable heroine Bella Swan and amplifies them into a laugh out loud mockery of a shallow, static character. Other characters echo issues in the series while still being laugh-worthy. The writing is a cruel, and rather accurate, mimicry of Stephanie Meyer's own. The plot is a funny twist on the series. Even the actors in the movies aren't safe from some ribbing. I'm aware that this review is very short; I just don't want to give anything away. If you've been wanting to rip out the jugulars of sparkly vampire fans this is the perfect solution. I can promise that this book is much more biting than any Cullen.